Macavity: The Mystery Cat Lyrics

Demeter:     MACAVITY'S A MYSTERY CAT
             HE'S CALLED THE HIDDEN PAW
             FOR HE'S THE MASTER CRIMINAL
             WHO CAN DEFY THE LAW
             HE'S THE BAFFLEMENT OF SCOTLAND YARD
             THE FLYING SQUAD'S DESPAIR
             FOR WHEN THEY REACH THE SCENE OF CRIME
             MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
             MACAVITY, MACAVITY
             THERE'S NO ONE LIKE MACAVITY!
             HE'S BROKEN EVERY HUMAN LAW
             HE BREAKS THE LAW OF GRAVITY
             HIS POWERS OF LEVITATION
             WOULD MAKE A FAKIR STARE
             AND WHEN YOU REACH THE SCENE OF CRIME
             MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
             YOU MAY SEEK HIM IN THE BASEMENT
             YOU MAY LOOK UP IN THE AIR
             BUT I TELL YOU ONCE AND ONCE AGAIN
             MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
Bombalurina: MACAVITY'S A GINGER CAT
             HE'S VERY TALL AND THIN
             YOU WOULD KNOW HIM IF YOU SAW HIM
             FOR HIS EYES ARE SUNKEN IN
             HIS BROW IS DEEPLY LINED WITH THOUGHT
             HIS HEAD IS HIGHLY DOMED
             HIS COAT IS DUSTY FROM NEGLECT
             HIS WHISKERS ARE UNCOMBED
             HE SWAYS HIS HEAD FROM SIDE TO SIDE
             WITH MOVEMENTS LIKE A SNAKE
             AND WHEN YOU THINK HE'S HALF ASLEEP
             HE'S ALWAYS WIDE AWAKE
             MACAVITY, MACAVITY
             THERE'S NO ONE LIKE MACAVITY
             FOR HE'S A FIEND IN FELINE SHAPE,
             A MONSTER OF DEPRAVITY
             YOU MAY MEET HIM IN A BY-STREET
             YOU MAY SEE HIM IN THE SQUARE
             BUT WHEN A CRIME'S DISCOVERED THEN
             MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
Demeter:     HE'S OUTWARDLY RESPECTABLE
Bombalurina: I KNOW HE CHEATS AT CARDS
Demeter:     AND HIS FOOTPRINTS ARE NOT FOUND
             IN ANY FILE OF SCOTLAND YARD'S
Bombalurina: AND WHEN THE LARDER'S LOOTED
Demeter:     OR THE JEWEL-CASE IS RIFLED
Bombalurina: OR WHEN THE MILK IS MISSING
Demeter:     OR ANOTHER PEKE'S BEEN STIFLED
Bombalurina: WHEN THE GREENHOUSE GLASS IS BROKEN
Demeter:     AND THE TRELLIS PAST REPAIR
Both:        BUT THERE'S THE WONDER OF THE THING
             MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
             MACAVITY, MACAVITY
             THERE'S NO ONE LIKE MACAVITY
             THERE NEVER WAS SUCH A CAT
             OF SUCH DECEITFULNESS AND SUAVITY
             HE ALWAYS HAS AN ALIBI
             AND ONE OR TWO TO SPARE
             AT WHATEVER TIME THE DEED TOOK PLACE
             MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!
             AND THEY SAY THAT ALL THE CATS
             WHOSE WICKED DEEDS ARE WIDELY KNOWN
Demeter:     I MIGHT MENTION MUNGOJERRIE
Bombalurina: I MIGHT MENTION GRIDDLEBONE
Both:        ARE NOTHING MORE THAN AGENTS
             FOR THE CAT WHO ALL THE TIME
             JUST CONTROLS THE OPERATIONS
             THE NAPOLEON OF CRIME
All:         MACAVITY, MACAVITY
             THERE'S NO ONE LIKE MACAVITY
             HE'S A FIEND IN FELINE SHAPE
             A MONSTER OF DEPRAVITY
             YOU MAY MEET HIM IN A BY-STREET
             YOU MAY SEE HIM IN THE SQUARE
             BUT WHEN A CRIME'S DISCOVERED THEN
             MACAVITY ... MACAVITY ... 
             MACAVITY ... MACAVITY ...
             WHEN A CRIME'S DISCOVERED THEN
             MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
             MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
             WE HAVE TO FIND OLD DEUTERONOMY