The Naming of Cats Lyrics

All: THE NAMING OF CATS IS A DIFFICULT MATTER
     IT ISN'T JUST ONE OF YOUR HOLIDAY GAMES
     YOU MAY THINK AT FIRST I'M AS MAD AS A HATTER
     WHEN I TELL YOU CAT MUST HAVE THREE DIFFERENT NAMES
     FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S THE NAME THAT THE FAMILY USE DAILY
     SUCH AS PETER, AUGUSTUS, ALONZO, OR JAMES
     SUCH AS VICTOR OR JONATHAN, GEORGE OR BILL BAILEY
     ALL OF THEM SENSIBLE, EVERYDAY NAMES
     THERE ARE FANCIER NAMES, IF YOU THINK THEY SOUND SWEETER
     SOME FOR THE GENTLEMEN, SOME FOR THE DAMES
     SUCH AS PLATO, ADMETUS, ELECTRA, DEMETER
     BUT ALL OF THEM SENSIBLE, EVERYDAY NAMES
     BUT I TELL YOU, A CAT NEEDS A NAME THAT'S PARTICULAR
     A NAME THAT'S PECULIAR AND MORE DIGNIFIED
     ELSE HOW CAN HE KEEP UP HIS TALE PERPENDICULAR
     OR SPREAD OUT HIS WHISKERS, OR CHERISH HIS PRIDE?
     OF NAMES OF THIS KIND, I CAN GIVE YOU A QUORUM
     SUCH AS MUNKUSTRAP, QUAXO, OR CORICOPAT
     SUCH AS BOMBALURINA, OR ELSE JELLYLORUM
     NAMES THAT NEVER BELONG TO MORE THAN ONE CAT
     BUT ABOVE AND BEYOND, THERE'S STILL ONE NAME LEFT OVER
     AND THAT IS THE NAME THAT YOU NEVER WILL GUESS
     THE NAME THAT NO HUMAN RESEARCH CAN DISCOVER
     BUT THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, AND WILL NEVER CONFESS
     WHEN YOU NOTICE A CAT IN PROFOUND MEDITATION
     THE REASON I TELL YOU, IS ALWAYS THE SAME
     HIS MIND IS ENGAGED IN A RAPT CONTEMPLATION
     OF THE THOUGHT, OF THE THOUGHT, OF THE THOUGHT OF HIS NAME
     HIS INEFFABLE, EFFABLE, EFFANINEFFABLE
     DEEP AND INSCRUTABLE, SINGULAR NAME