Only Solitaire Lyrics

Brain-storming  habit-forming  battle-warning weary  winsome  actor spewing
     spineless chilling lines-
Critics falling over to tell themselves he's boring and really not an awful
     lot of fun.
Well, who the hell can he be when he's never had V.D., and he  doesn't even
     sit on toilet seats?
Court-jesting, never-resting - he must be very  cunning to assume an air of
     dignity and
Bless us all  with his  oratory prowess;  his lame-brained  antics and  his
     jumping in the air.
And every night his  act's the same and so  it must be all a game  of chess
     he's playing -
"But you're wrong Steve: you see, it's Only Solitaire."